If you are in a funk or just looking for a little boost, here are some rituals of self-love that have worked for me. I hope they spark some ideas and help abundance flow <3
1. Intention Candle.
I originally did this ritual after a lovely day at the park with my friend Ryn. I’ll give you an account of what we did, you may take what you like and leave what you don’t. It was her idea to burn a candle with a stone embedded in the bottom to absorb the intentions and charge the crystal. From there, we just worked with what we had.
- Rainbow Taper Candle – as it burns different colors are revealed. I chose this because I wanted to connect more to all the different ways I felt love. I also saw it as a fun way to connect to my queerness. You can use whatever candle you are called to. Pinks and reds work particularly well for love intentions.
- Small stone or crystal – for this I used a small green stone I found on the beach when I was home. You can also look up crystals that are good for your heart chakra.
- Whatever herbs you want – I used Lotus Leaf and a Sprig of Mint my friend found in his shoe when we were at the LA county fair. Lotus leaf is good for intuition and I chose the mint as a symbol of connection.
- Notebook and Pen
- Something to hold the candle while it burns
We cast a circle/purified our space and ground ourselves. We spent some time talking about and writing down your intentions. We took time to make them concise and clear. This is what truly fuels the spell.
Once satisfied with our intentions, we used the lighter to melt the bottom of the candle and press the stone in. It took me a few tries to get it in there securely, I tried to be patient and to have fun with it. Then we dressed our candle in herbs by melting them onto the side or putting them around the base.
We burned the candle for three days while meditating on our intention. I always find it best to journal about my meditations to gain as much as possible from them. On the last day, I disposed of any residual wax. Well, I picked up a hot dish of wax then dropped and spilled it all over my desk erupting in laughter (actually it splashed in the shape of a heart and I kept it on my alter for a long time after that, here’s a photo).
After that you can keep the stone as a token and remembrance of your work and meditate with it if you ever need to re-connect to your love consciousness. I ended up putting mine in a necklace and sending it to my sister for her birthday. I find that love works better when you spread it outwards. Plus gifts with intention are always the best 🙂
2. Self-Love Balm
I want to give credit where credit is due – I got the idea for this ritual from a video by the Sorry Girls, probably the best DIYers on Youtube, there I said it! I nixed the shea butter because I didn’t have any, but otherwise, I followed their ratios for the base of coconut oil, olive oil, and beeswax. I will do my best to paraphrase their recipe below.
I did this ritual with my friend Nicole and it was our first ritual together. It was nice to set intentions for the year (we did it in early January). This ritual was more informal and took place in my kitchen. You know there ain’t nothing wrong with a little kitchen magic.
In a double boiler (I used a recycled jar because the wax can make it difficult to clean your food-grade dishes) I melted:
- 1/4 cup of coconut oil – though next time I may use less because I found the smell to be a little overpowering
- 1/3ish cup of olive oil
- 3 tablespoons of grated beeswax
- Rose Petals – we used about a pinch of pink petals for subtle floral notes and soft, sweet love, as rose petals are great for that.
- Chamomile – we added about 5 or 6 dried flower heads. Chamomile is good for the skin, for calming, and for releasing pain in the heart such as loss. It can also promote sexuality and who doesn’t want a little of that in a self-love spell.
- Lavender – we went a lil overboard with the lavender, but it can’t hurt! It’s great for the skin and it smells amazing. Lavender is also good for calming and for intuitive practices. We used it here to give us insight on what needed to be released from our life to let love in.
- Yarrow – we added a few pinches of yarrow. Yarrow is my current favorite herb. It’s great for inflammation and healing both physically and emotionally. It helps cleanse the aura and ward of depression, all things we needed in order to let some love into our lives.
- Eucalyptus – we added on dried sprig of eucalyptus to help sooth and to boost the properties of the yarrow. I would recommend breaking up the leaves to allow for those natural oils to be released.
- All Spice – we added a dash of all spice for prosperity in all aspects of love. Here we hoped it would help us feel and define the love we have in many forms.
- Cinnamon – just a lil’! This is to enhance the properties of the all spice but cinnamon also adds luck and swiftness to your spells – a little snap!
- Honey – we went overboard with the honey lol! We added probably 3 tablespoons each because it’s sweet and beautiful and great for everything. Mine separated out of the oil, Nicole’s didn’t do this for some reason, magic is crazy. <3
- Clove Oil – I love the smell of clove but beyond that it is great to reduce pain and a wonderful protection/grounding agent. There was some clove in the yule blend we added so we only used a couple drops of the oil.
- Geranium Oil – I wanted more pink things in the spell but Nicole liked the herby smell we had going on so we didn’t want to add too many floral notes. We only added one drop of this oil.
- Yule Blend – Nicole brought an herb blend with clove and maybe some pine – lots of festive holiday spices. We added this to show our commitment to the practice we set up for ourselves. Here’s a link to the blend if you are interested.
We let all of this stew in the double boiler for about 20 minutes, or at least until all the beeswax melts and combines. It gets very aromatic 🙂
After it all melts, you can strain and discard the herbs. Or, if you want to feel like a true goddess AND get some added exfoliation, leave the herbs in! We poured it into the receptacle of our choice and enjoyed.
I used this balm for 5 days, ending with an amazing shower using the rest of it up. Each day I wrote down any negative thoughts that were coming up that needed to be released. I took some time to re-frame them into positive thoughts as a way to re-train my brain. I finished journalling everyday with writing 5 things I love about myself. Paired with meditation, this made for an amazing week!
3. ~Feelin Myself~ Oil Infusion
This last one is a quick one but it has been very helpful for me in periods of transitioning between feminine and masculine energy. When balancing these energies it can be hard to connect to what makes you feel sexy, attractive, and lovable. I put together an oil infusion to smell amazing and connect to some of those juicy vibes 😛
In the oil of your choice combine:
- 1/2 Cinnamon Stick – for that snap bb!
- 1 Stalk of Lavender – for intuition, floral notes, and soothing
- 3 Cardamom Pods – for sexual energy and that good good musk!
- 1 Pink Rosebud – for pink, feminine notes
- 2 Star Anis Petals – for protection and grounding and also because they smell divine!
- Bergamot oil to your smell preference – Bergamot has SO many uses. I put it here mostly for the sent and for clarification/detox.
You can infuse for as long as you like. I dab it on as perfume or put a few drops in my shower for a little charge-up!
I hop these rituals find you well. If you try any or take inspo from them, please comment below and tell me what worked for you!
If you want to hear more about my thoughts on self-love and love spells, check out my blog post here.
Much love! -Riss