In preparation for the full moon, I have been looking at things I can release from my life. Most of what I would love to shed is anxiety-based and requires a lot of inward reflection and dealing with things I really would just rather not even look at. But it’s always for the better and here we are trucking along.
To make the inward reflection a little easier on the heart, I set aside some time with a new friend to sent some intentions for self-love.
Sorry if you stumbled upon this post looking for a ritual that would bring that honey you’re longing for into your arms, spark a sexual desire, or fix a relationship that needs mending. I’ve been told those spells don’t work. They require manipulation of others and factor in too many elements to really be successful anyways. And even if I was on board with a little dark magic, I don’t have the knowledge and experience to guide someone into pulling a spell like that off. BUT if you look at the root of why people seek out love spells, we can find something that does work.
Let’s take one from RuPaul Charles’ book for a second. “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?”
It took me years to really embrace this truth. And trust, it is the Truth!
Being a poly person without gender, I am aware of judgement. Giving love can be difficult if people are unable to accept it on your terms. And I do not want to give love disingenuously. There is a lot of societal pressures to love and express love a particular way. A lot of it stems from fear or rejection, and quite frankly I don’t want to participate in that culture.
The first (self) love spell I did was the first time I really started to believed in magic. Not like fairytale magic (though I am still holding out on that, ok), it was the first time I felt the intention I put into a ritual unfold and grow. I gained new insight. I felt the abundance of love.
Let me tell you right now, self-love spells can get you high! And all that energy feeds into every part of your life. If you have a relationship that needs mending, a sexual hang up, or you just don’t know what to do about a crush, turn to self-love. It will let that energy flow.
Once I found the abundance, honestly, I was really confused with what to do with it. It was on overload at first, like I opened a flood gate. But I sat with those feelings, and learned from them.
I’m also going to take a page from The Ethical Slut, which for those who don’t know, is my polyamorous bible. I’m paraphrasing but basically they ask, wouldn’t it be great if instead of asking IF we loved, we asked ourselves HOW we love. This is how I manage the flow of abundance, by asking myself this question.
NOTE: Magic ≠ Easy Route
Just because a self-love spell may get your heart flowing doesn’t mean it won’t come with a little heart ache. That’s what happened for me. Often with the release of energy comes the bubbling up of feelings, usually ones that were pushed down because they were less than savory. Don’t let this stop you! This reflection is key to truly opening your heart and finding your true confidence.
If you put in the work, you will reap the reward. So give yourself a little love.
If you are looking for tips and ideas for some self-love rituals, check out my post here.
Until Next Time -Riss